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A
few months ago there was an article in Terrorizer
Magazine about the British black metal scene. In a
nutshell, the author tried to find a reason why the BM
scene of the area sucks so hard. I think this
compilation answers the question. If we were to judge
the whole UK scene based on the bands included here we’d
first find that there is first; a lack of focus, second;
a blatant fascination to stain rage and chaos with
cheesy Gothicism and third; a lack of talent. Of these
three, I refuse to believe the third one. I mean,
England alone has brought us The Beatles, The Clash and
Iron Maiden. So why can the whole United Kingdom have at
least one decent black metal band? Maybe, they just
don’t know how good black metal sounds like.
Let’s go one
by one. The first band in tow is Worms of Sabnock and their song
triggers one question, does every English BM band has to sound
like Cradle of Filth? I hope not. Their tune ain’t that bad but
the cheesy ‘orchestration’ makes them sound like absolute
clones. Like it nor not, hate the style or not, nothing can
prepare you for the sounds of Barad Dur; a one man project from
Manchester. I am not exaggerating when I say that “The
Continuation” is perhaps the worst black metal song ever
written. Why is this song included in this compilation? He knows
the right people I guess. I can accept nepotism, but the
inclusion of this tune this high in the sequence denotes an
absolute lack of quality control. There is no bass, the drums
sound like someone is finger-tapping on a cardboard box, the
riffs are laughable and the vocals…ah, they suck so bad. There
is no connection between instruments. There is no melody, no
rage, no chaos. Barad Dur suck a big one.
Ebonillumini
is a duo from London that includes the guitarist from The Meads
of Asphodel. I am not a fan of the romanticism that carries the
tune but I can appreciate the vocal talents of The Maiden. The
piano notes filling all the blank spaces attempt to create a
majestic feel and those who like the style will dig this.
Teutoburg Forest is more to my liking. “As the Ego Dissolves”
has that static-y guitar sound that in a way reminds me of the
psychedelic satanic doom of Brown Jenkins. The tired tempo and
stated simplicity of the track along with the hysterical vocals
make this duo the standout band of the album. Proxenus don’t
even have a Metal Archives page but that’s perhaps because their
evil ambient music barely qualifies as ‘metal’.
Cunt Witch
have a cool moniker and the vocals scream of rageful
Scandinavian black metal. Their song “Heksen” is beyond raw and
sounds straight as an arrow. Not too bad, but hardly
outstanding. Plus there is little besides speed. Old Corpse Road
sound like a metalized version of The Twilight Zone soundtrack.
“Hell’s Kettles” lasts almost eight minutes but only has enough
ideas to feed a one minute song. Their take on black metal is
folksy and yes, vocally, it reminds of Cradle of Filth quite a
bit. Wojna is a three piece from London. According to their
Metal Archives page they sing about self-preservation. I am
guessing that means that they keep their jiz in a jar. Their
song for the most part doesn’t stink. It’s got a heavy metal
backbone and it runs at a complacent mid tempo. The band shoots
itself in the foot though. When the solo comes in the song
crumbles. Not only does it sound ridiculously cheesy and awful
but it reveals other shortcomings; like the guitarist can’t even
tune his guitar right.
Hang on, we
are almost the end. Second to last is Blooddawn. The recording
leaves a lot to be desired, it actually sounds quite tepid, but
at least there are forces at work. Beyond the distance between
my speakers and the sound of this song, Blooddawn comes off
triumphant in this recording. There is an industrial feel to
this song and in the end these guys show the most merciless and
relentless sonic attack. Also, the dog barks in the back are a
nice touch. Whorethorn close out the proceedings and their raw
lo fi black metal should have been placed higher in the
sequence.
The UK
Legions have a lot of work to do. Clearly, this compilation
tried to show the wide range of BM bands. Even more clearly, most
of these bands are not ready to be exposed. Professionalism is
not the answer, but somehow the crudity (more so in the more
elaborate bands) of the songwriting here leaves a lot to be
desired.
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