DIE BY DESIGN
Now It Starts to Make Sense
(Mother Should Know)

THIS WILL DESTROY YOU
S/T
(Magic Bullet)

EGYPT
S/T
(Lyderhorn)

BROWN JENKINS
Angel Eyes
(Moribund)

DUB TRIO
Another Sound is Dying
(Ipecac)

HATE ETERNAL
Fury & Flames 

(Metal Blade)

BITCHSLICER
III Lycathropic Fellatio

(Worldeater)

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OK, man, This one was a bit of letdown. It is so often, especially in the world of metal, that your expectations of a band are raised unfairly high because of the cover artwork. The one in question with its green skulls and pink background features a werewolf sucking the dick of a Skeletor looking dude. How could I not hold this to a higher standard? Ever since I saw the artwork I reasoned, Bitchslicer have to be super awesome. If they don’t slay, at least they might have enough edge to like, slice some ham and spread the butter. The edge is there alright. Philadelphia’s Bitchslicer specialize in porno trash metal, but their art simply doesn’t cut, or dare I say, slice the cheese.

More surprisingly, Bitchslicer have been together since 2001 and III Lycanthropic Fellatio is their second full-length following Cum Inside (their artwork is always awesome though, this one features two hermaphrodites having sex with a chick that’s just been beheaded) and a few other recordings, including about seven limited releases and a split with Oneiric Imperium.

Even considering how average some of the new old school thrash metal bands sound and comparing Bitchslicer to them, Lycanthropic Fellatio sounds rather sophomoric.  Starting with the number of members, which renders the guitar solo time as languid time, because when vocalist King Gary decides to go for a solo, all we have left is a sloppy drummer and a bassist that needs to fill up a huge empty hollow sound. We could blame that on the below average production, but the songs themselves don’t fare much better.

Yes, the titles are fun (“Legalize Bestiality Now”, “Frankenstoned”, “Necroanalingus”), but the songs are not. For the space of nineteen original songs and the two covers (GG Allin’s “Gimme Some Head” and Willie Nelson’s “Mommas”) Bitchslicer deliver substandard thrash metal songs that reek of third class 80’s thrash metal acts. It is like they are paying homage to all those bands that time forgot. Sometimes that is a good thing, but as it seems to be the case of Lycanthropic Fellatio, this is most certainly not. 

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