NACHTMYSTIUM
Assassins:
Black Meddle Pt. 1
(Century Media)
DIE BY DESIGN
Now
It Starts to Make Sense
(Mother Should Know)
THIS WILL DESTROY
YOU
S/T
(Magic Bullet)
EGYPT
S/T
(Lyderhorn)
BROWN JENKINS
Angel Eyes
(Moribund)
DUB TRIO
Another Sound
is Dying
(Ipecac)
HATE ETERNAL
Fury & Flames
(Metal Blade)
BITCHSLICER
III Lycathropic Fellatio
(Worldeater)
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BITCHSLICER
III Lycanthropic Fellatio
(Worldeater)
    
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OK,
man, This one was a bit of letdown. It is so often, especially
in the world of metal, that your expectations of a band are
raised unfairly high because of the cover artwork. The one in
question with its green skulls and pink background features a
werewolf sucking the dick of a Skeletor looking dude. How could
I not hold this to a higher standard? Ever since I saw the
artwork I reasoned, Bitchslicer have to be super awesome. If
they don’t slay, at least they might have enough edge to like,
slice some ham and spread the butter. The edge is there alright.
Philadelphia’s Bitchslicer specialize in porno trash metal, but
their art simply doesn’t cut, or dare I say, slice the cheese.
More
surprisingly, Bitchslicer have been together since 2001 and
III Lycanthropic Fellatio is their second full-length
following Cum Inside (their artwork is always awesome
though, this one features two hermaphrodites having sex with a
chick that’s just been beheaded) and a few other recordings,
including about seven limited releases and a split with Oneiric
Imperium.
Even
considering how average some of the new old school thrash metal
bands sound and comparing Bitchslicer to them, Lycanthropic
Fellatio sounds rather sophomoric. Starting with the number
of members, which renders the guitar solo time as languid time,
because when vocalist King Gary decides to go for a solo, all we
have left is a sloppy drummer and a bassist that needs to fill
up a huge empty hollow sound. We could blame that on the below
average production, but the songs themselves don’t fare much
better.
Yes, the
titles are fun (“Legalize Bestiality Now”, “Frankenstoned”, “Necroanalingus”),
but the songs are not. For the space of nineteen original songs
and the two covers (GG Allin’s “Gimme Some Head” and Willie
Nelson’s “Mommas”) Bitchslicer deliver substandard thrash metal
songs that reek of third class 80’s thrash metal acts. It is
like they are paying homage to all those bands that time forgot.
Sometimes that is a good thing, but as it seems to be the case
of Lycanthropic Fellatio, this is most certainly not.
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