Lockjaw Records is a UK based label that was formed by three brothers back in 1997. Amongst the label’s first releases were recordings by Zen Guerrilla and Unsane. However judging by their current roster, their target market seems to have shifted substantially. The label’s site states that is their aim to release 'new raw talent'. That sounds about right. Several of their bands show potential. Unrealized potential that may just come of age when the time is right. For now some of these bands seem greener than the grass of Wembley Stadium. Read on and spread the word...  

Maeven reminds me of a poppier, bubblegummy and punkified version of Skunk Anansie. That may just be because vocalist Becca Towler leads her pack with the same bold panache that Skin used to lead her trio. Or it may just be because some of the tunes in this debut posses that FM-ready alt-rock radio friendliness that differentiated Skunk Anansie in an era of insipid music. I tell you what I like about Maeven, they don’t have great songs. In fact they don’t have any great songs, but they got the energy and this recording is relentless in its intent. So much so, you can sense their admiration for rockers like the Backyard Babies. It is surprising then to find out that this is an all-girl teenage quartet. As is the issue with most teenage bands, Maeven are still quite green and that seeps through their songwriting and arrangements.  At moments, I seriously thought I was listening to Barbie Rocker, but hey, give Maeven time and who knows what they’ll do.   

I understand that this type of music is all the hype these days, but I don’t like it. There are literally hundreds of bands that sound and look just like these kids. I don’t know what the charm is. Even worse, when Three Years Hiding says they play post hardcore emo I wonder where the hardcore is. Because this bland debut, We Lost Ourselves and Found Our Way To This has zero hardcore. It’s all weepy lyrics and wimpy music. And don’t even get me started with the vocals; they are generic as fuck. Anyway, I think I’ve seen the lads from Three Years Hiding hanging out at the shopping mall.  In fact, I think they are being cloned, because I’ve seen hundreds of them, everywhere. With their girl jeans, big earrings,  skinny frames, girly demeanor, and else. Not that there is anything wrong with it. No. Far from it.

Eight Page Pullout don’t waste anytime sucking. ‘Wow, wow, wow’ starts off the first song “Stand Up” and boy if you ought to get ready for a blizzard of horrible emo rock. There is nothing but terrible melodies, shitty playing, generic hard rock moments, laughable vocal harmonies and probably the same vocalist from Three Years Hiding. There is absolutely nothing good about this EP. Surprisingly, Eight Page Pullout have been together for over seven years. After realizing that the only question I have is, did they learn anything during such a long time? Because really Stand Up, is absolutely horrible and sounds like something that was written by mongoloid twelve year olds. But there are good news after all, Eight Page Pullout broke up recently. Thanks for the wise decision lads!

After two atrocious records I come to I Killed Pharaoh with some expectations. The reason being that I kinda like the cover artwork. Besides, that’s a better moniker than I Killed the Prom Queen. King-Hell Breakthrough is far from being a great album, but compared to whatever Eight Page Pullout are capable of delivering, this sounds Pulitzer Prize worthy.  I Killed Pharaoh occasionally sounds like a lightweight Deftones, but that’s only when the bassist is not playing some funk-slapping, and when the rest of the band isn’t trying to pull some modern rock tricks, like during “Substance” where the band mixes organic alt rock with programming. The result ain’t half bad. Overall, the music is solid. It just needs more focus, fine tune the song writing and I Killed Pharaoh could have something worth $10 in their hands.

Tribute to Nothing are far from being my cup of tea, but their delivery is assured and professional, their songwriting is fluid and concise, their songs are memorable and though not totally removed from emo band camp, they pack a wallop like few in their field. More importantly, their vocalist doesn’t sound like a total idiot wearing a white leather belt and weeping at the sight of his boyfriend walking away at the hand of his best friend. Breathe How You Want to Breathe features great dynamics and a matured sound that’s obviously the result of hard work and experience as a band. The first half is thoroughly solid, with jarring tunes that lyrically don’t stray away from introspection and conflict and that musically are nicely textured and surprisingly jagged and angular. The second half of the album is lackluster.  Especially the last three tunes, which had they been left out would have made this album much greater.

Oh boy, you only need to take a look at the cover picture of San Andreas' Man or Monster to realize that you may just be about to be caressed and pummeled at the same time by the very annoying sounds of screamo.  Yeah, apparently the plague isn’t over yet. Or if it is, no one told these kids. San Andreas are a modern band, with a modern sound that’s formed by lots of fluffy melodies, a bit of crappy zero attitude hardcore and plenty of erratic screams. Somehow, that’s come to launch a movement of shopping mall dwellers. To their credit, the vocalist whose name is Sopo or something like that, has a belligerent scream, which is good thing by the way. His clean vocals do not necessarily bother me, but the choruses are hideous. Totally generic. Especially manufactured by a band with apparently no interest to become outstanding.

I picked this last CD basically because this band has the worst name in history. I mean Parties Break Hearts? Couldn’t they have thought of something better? Something like Purulence, Mayhem, Backstreet Boys or Destiny’s Child. Or how about some other universal truth like, Crappy Music Breaks Hearts or Horrible Songs Breed Stupid People? The funny thing in this album is that it has one groove laden riff that’s perfect to make all the morons bounce like basketballs, and of course this Swiss quartet plays it like in every other song. This album is titled Life is Too Short to Dance With Ugly People and if that proves to be a rule at parties, these dudes won’t have any options but to make out between each other.