What the fuck is this? That may be the most honest way to start a piece on Rhonda is a Dead Bitch. If their moniker has you scratching your head and your balls, then let me tell you something sonny, even getting to the actual music won’t help dissipate your confusion. In fact, it will only enervate it, it will perhaps heighten your senses too. How? Well, it is totally radical recordings like this one which divide the population. They cause such a strong reaction, people get into fist fights and start spitting at each other. No kidding. You will absolutely hate it, or you will absolutely love it. If you are in the middle, then frankly, you don’t count, you have no opinion and possibly, need to inject your nutsack with some chunky peanut butter .
Not liking it means you are standard. Possibly, a generic fool. A fucking douchebag that only likes three minute songs. A shortsighted simple minded moron with a small dick. A straight laced straight man, totally hating the New York judicial system right about now.
Liking it quite likely implies that you are into foolishness. That you deem all things bizarre cool because you consider yourself crazy and in your world, crazy is cool. Unorthodox. Unique. Ingenious; are all words you like to associate with your personality and with everything you like.
The truth is Laos is as unfocused and incoherent as it comes; one second you are being treated to this ultra bizarre noise pop song and then the rest of the side is just this incandescent noise and one layer of quiet drone. “Surveillance Video”, that may be the name, has this No Age, or Pissed Jeans quality to it. It’s just fine. It deconstructs. It blows in your ear and then it aboards a spaceship. It is what it is, so Rhonda may also be a Deaf Bitch. The press sheet that came with the vinyl even transgresses its purpose by stating that it hardly represents the band, but it is, ‘what we came up with’. It says. Truly, what the fuck is this?
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Written by Ignacio Brown
