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I
was
just listening to Hey Colossus’ Happy Birthday a
couple of nights ago. It was a starry night that bled
through the branches below, I got my big expensive
headphones on and I was feeling a little bit
lightheaded. The music just overtook me. It was an
amazing tsunami of noise, a tidal wave of low
frequencies sipping through auditory cavities I didn’t
know I had. Hey Colossus are undeniable and Happy
Birthday could be the masterpiece in anybody’s
discography. It is that simple. I just wish the drums
had been more dominant. It’s that giant thump that
lacks, it resonates at too far of a distance.
The time
elapsed since Happy Birthday has served this Brits to grow one
more limb to a six-piece formation. As this recording is titled,
Eurogrumble Volume 1, it comes under the extended Hey
Colossus and the Van Halen Time Capsule moniker and this is not
a split. I searched for info regarding the Van Halen Time
Capsule and I have come to the conclusion that’s just the extra
dude.
Contrasting
the sudden violence of the first cut of Happy Birthday is
“Question” which opens this first volume via some pretty
amorphous shit. I read in a couple of places that Hey Colossus
were hipsters who made music for skinny people who wear black
rimmed glasses. Well, that fucker was just plain wrong. There is
nothing hip about this album. Let alone this beast of a song. If
anything, the noise of this twelve-minute song should serve to
test those who are in here for the pose.
A point could
be made that Hey Colossus can’t differentiate between their
noise and their sludge noise rock, but I can and I appreciate
this album so much more when the band uses a drumset as its
backbone. “13 Millers Court” drones in static fashion. Moving
slowly but precisely those distorted vocals mock us with that ‘hohohohoho’.
This sounds like Rrröööaaarrr-era
Voi Vod played
at the wrong revolutions. And closer "Wait Your Turn" is just
mundane, awesomely mundane.
The band is
also at its rumbling best in “Pope Long Haul II”, another one of
those tunes for dog ears. It rocks steady, nothing
unconventional there, but the unsophisticated recording gives
them the edge. What’s crammed in between the rock is perhaps
most of what The Van Halen Time Capsule has contributed and I
could give two shits. If it is a matter of comparing this to
Happy Birthday I go with the latter. Now Hay Colossus are
way trippier but the other record didn’t fuck around in all the
ways that this does.
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