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In
a fair, beautiful and just world, Taint would be kings.
Metallica would be playing third stage for
all the people in baggy pants,
Megadeth would be headlining the second stage for some
with a bit of taste and a handful of the baggy-panted,
Tool would be playing to five people at the Planetarium,
The Stooges would have never been inducted into the Rock
and Roll Hall of Fame and Taint would be high on the
first stage bill of Rock in Rio circa 198-something, all
surrounded by samba dancers while they shit out the
sludge like only they can. But we all know that’s not
the case, the world sucks, Metallica reign, Megadeth are
actually pretty good, and the dude from Tool is out
making wine. Also, Children of Bodom rule and I still
don’t get it.
Also, in a
perfect world, some of these songs would be immediate, or at
least remotely memorable. For some reason, I think that Taint
aren’t into that anymore. In the past they were. Albums like The
Ruin of Nova Roma and Secrets & Lies gathered us like flock at
the strum of one chord and while they were nothing akin to the
immediacy of pop music, their riffs stuck and the gruff vocals
stunk so much they made the transitional albums from Baroness
sound like they were already sucking in all their prog mini
majesty. That is my proposition. Those who think that Baroness
have gotten too far shall check out this excellent British band.
Especially the aforementioned albums, which together give us
some of the mightiest sludge metal that side of the pond. But
All Bees to the Sea is more of a loyalist affair.
All Bees to
the Sea is high quality grain, but it also escapes me. It is by
no means a sticker. It includes four new tracks along with a
live set recorded at Roadburn 2008. The studio tracks showcase
Taint’s busy sludge metal, which vocally borders on the menacing
angle of hardcore and musically, moves too arrhythmically to
have you memorizing it. Hone in on the riffs though, slice the
songs in your head and you’ll realize how awesome Taint is. And
if you think music ain’t about being too cerebral, well, then
you should go and listen to pop music.
The Roadburn
set puts things in perspective. This is the rudest trio this
side of Motorhead. Their music blisters and then fries. They
take enough turns to penetrate a labyrinth. They communicate
through telepathy. Were their songs a little more digestible
Taint would still taste like fried testicles to the masses.
After listening to the full set one thing is clear; the songs
included in the live set are superior to the new studio ones.
Kudos for this; the recording is pretty raw, and apparently
includes no overdubs. An achievement of sincerity unto itself in these days
of Pro Tool smoothness.
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