Home » 2014 » July
doesn't really go anywhere \ electronics \ experimental \ guitar \ so sorry please forgive us \ Storm Ross \ the truth hurts
Storm Ross – The Green Realm
This one hurts, it does. It always hurts us to our core when we have to give something an average or even slightly negative review. But not just that, because sometimes being negative is entirely enjoyable. However, in cases when the submission comes so professionally done and with so much care given to the […]
french fry song \ fuzz galore \ love that bass \ potatoes and guys without fingers \ Riff Fist \ something about riffs \ stoner
Riff Fist – Fistful of Riffs
This presents a conundrum of the most profound. Is the fist made of riffs? Or is it rather that the riffs are made of fist? This question may be impossible to answer, and we’re certainly not intelligent enough around here to figure it out, so we’ll save this philosophical speculation for the rest of you. […]
Black Crown Initiate \ bro love \ cat love \ girlfriend love \ progressive death metal \ PS I love you
Black Crown Initiate – Song of the Crippled Bull
This review is going to end up being a huge pitch to sell/follow a band that really deserves a lot more respect and Facebook “Likes” than what they currently have. Black Crown Initiate from Reading, Pennsylvania have been a touring monstrosity, playing with titans like Fleshgod Apocalypse, Behemoth, 1349, and a personal favorite, SepticFlesh. Already they’re touring on the […]
Beläten \ Cold Spring Records \ dark as fak \ Gothic dark industrial \ Malignant Records \ prepar to dye \ ritualistic as fak \ silken tofu \ Trepaneringsritualen
Double Header – Trepaneringsritualen
Seeing as we love this guy so much in all his blood-crusted beardiness, figured we’d save some time covering two labels and two different releases at once, as this special article style of ours is want to do. Thomas Ekelund, known as Trepaneringsritualen, we first reviewed in a split LP with DEATHSTENCH released by Malignant […]
ad noiseam \ ambient beatz dawg \ DnB \ give me dat beat yall \ too much beetz to h4ndl3 \ Underhill
Underhill – Prologue
Said it before, and we’ll say it again, nothing, we repeat, nothing this label sends us is below a 4/5, ever. As soon as we open that beautiful, sealed digipak of a release by the beast known as Ad Noiseam, our minds explode into a billion pointless words in a futile effort to explain how very […]
bring it more please \ Moonlight Records \ more doom dudes \ Shinin' Shade \ where's the power? \ WTF more this needs more
Shinin’ Shade – Sat-Urn
It’s not good when you start with one of the worst band names we’ve encountered in awhile. We suppose, though, that if you’re going for more of the 1960s or 70s in terms of your “doom” it sounds fitting, like Blue Cheer or Incredible Hog. However, that always irritates the piss out of us, because […]
beautiful analog \ black metal \ Cassette Assault \ crust \ funeral doom \ holy shit all on cassette even \ noise \ sludge \ tape hiss
Cassette Assault! Noise, Noisy, Noisier!
Uh oh, folks, it’s time for another…cassette assault!!!! Or perhaps those exclamatives should be written as !!!!11!11!!!! Either way, we’re bringing it in that beautiful analog format that warps in the sun and makes stuff like this sound even better. Last time we had a selection of four beautiful pieces of plastic from one label, […]
animal rights \ atmosphere \ girl singing from all angles \ screw humanity \ The Way of Purity \ WormHoleDeath Records \ yes yes yes
The Way of Purity – Equate
Sent a stack of WormHoleDeath releases to one of our writers to do a nice, giant article on the label, because the guys behind it are awesome, hardworking, and in spite of their underground status really push the promotional level of their stuff and take it with a grain of salt, which is a rarity […]
I can't go on \ irony \ misnomer \ quasi-boring thrash metal \ someone help me \ Unlocking the Truth \ what how even \ why?
Unlocking the Truth of Said 8th Grade Metal Band (Yeah, They Suck, Get Over It)
Metal, everyone who’s in wishes other people would just stay the Hell out. A huge portion of it thrives on the underground fanatic, that type who covers themselves in logos until their skin is practically made out of cloth, who purchases everything on cassette for some God damn reason, who knows what metal is, and […]
Dune \ Frank Herbert \ not as bad as first but still kind of sucks \ real bad \ sci-fi \ so I guess it's okay \ sucks bad
Frank Herbert’s Dune Sucks: Part II – Dune Messiah
If you started here, you started wrong, or in my opinion thematically, probably right. I suggest you read my analysis of Dune before going through this one. If you’re interested, just click here for the truth about that living suck. Dune Messiah was Herbert’s first sequel in his Dune universe, and it tends to be […]
