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Neptunian Maximalism – Éons (TRASH TRASH TRASH STFU)

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Neptunian Maximalism – Éons (TRASH TRASH TRASH STFU)

  I’m probably going to get some shit for this one but oh well, that’s typical. And like usual I seem to be the only person in the world who can see through the haze of “woah so different.” I laugh hard when I see glittering generalities written about stuff like this. Hypnotic. Not interested […]

Wędrowcy~Tułacze~Zbiegi – Berliner Vulkan (Polish Synth Noir)

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Wędrowcy~Tułacze~Zbiegi – Berliner Vulkan (Polish Synth Noir)

  Wasn’t sure what to expect with this one what with the blue skull hipster thing and the fact that Wędrowcy~Tułacze~Zbiegi (WTZ for short) is listed as, lol, black metal and experimental on some shit sites. I’ve also seen vain attempts at calling this “post-black metal” but you just can’t toss that around any old […]

Ritual Mass – Abhorred in the Eyes of God (Some Death Metal Again)

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Ritual Mass – Abhorred in the Eyes of God (Some Death Metal Again)

  Let’s finish off my choice cuts in music this week with some rotting death metal. Angry, masculine vocals, visions of torment, riffs that sound like new songs the second way through (even though there are only four tracks), etc. There’s no better way to unwind, now and then. Like a mutually-agreed-upon backyard boxing match, […]

Marthe – Sisters of Darkness (I Believe in Heavy Metal Again)

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Marthe – Sisters of Darkness (I Believe in Heavy Metal Again)

  Sometimes something so short and simple can be so freaking powerful. Though calling this a demo is a bit inapplicable to what is really a beyond-EP length freaking beast out of nowhere. Heavy metal, doom, and all that sort of thing are so often beaten into the ground by the templates utilized by most […]

Zebadiah Crowe – Host Rider (Non-Sucking Ministry Black Metal)

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Zebadiah Crowe – Host Rider (Non-Sucking Ministry Black Metal)

  I had no idea what I was in for with this. It could have went so many ways and even the way it goes has me confused, lol. Metallum has Zebadiah Crowe pathetically listed as “black metal” and that sounds to me that whoever made the entry just gave up and said “well this […]

Valdrin – Effigy of Nightmares (Complexities of Melodic Black Metal)

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Valdrin – Effigy of Nightmares (Complexities of Melodic Black Metal)

  Hmm have I ever listened, or rather, cared about melodic black metal on here before? I can’t remember, honestly, so whatever. Valdrin come from the asphalt wastes of Ohio, where the highway tolls look like they were built in the 1960s but they’re unfortunately charging 3020 fees. Where large, pointless fields of corn open […]

Mordhell – Graveyard Fuck (Unwashed Human Body Black Metal)

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Mordhell – Graveyard Fuck (Unwashed Human Body Black Metal)

  This is one of those albums where you’re like “whelp, here we go,” because it absolutely does not give two shits how you feel and it’s telling you immediately what it’s about. It does it in a fairly open, yet peaceful way as well. The title’s clear, but the cover, which only hints at […]

Tithe – Penance (No One Will Like You Metal)

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Tithe – Penance (No One Will Like You Metal)

  At first I was getting annoyed by all the Jef Whitehead covers I was seeing in 43% of the promos I’ve had come in (that’s exact math) and then I scoped this one and was like “okay, I get it.” What a perfect arrangement! And what a great example of how cover art can […]

Evoker – Evil Torment (Love Hate Relationship Death Metal)

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Evoker – Evil Torment (Love Hate Relationship Death Metal)

  Though the creeping beast grave cover by Skaðvaldur is cool, I was completely disinterested in Evoker’s new EP, Evil Torment, when I started to listen. Ugh…more death metal…I thought, and let it churn and grumble in the background as I did other things, barely paying attention…at first. But somehow it began to chew away […]

Vandal Moon – Black Kiss (Post-Punkwave Lovechild)

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Vandal Moon – Black Kiss (Post-Punkwave Lovechild)

  It always annoys me so listen up you guys. Send me more promos like this. Gawsh why do bands of this type seem to be so poorly promoted? Maybe it’s the focus we used to have on metal all the time, I don’t know. Seeing our metal focus long ago they say “oh that’s […]