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CASSETTE ASSAULT – Bunch of Stuff With Puppy References

July 14, 2015  |   Filed under: Videograves  |   Posted by: Stanley Stepanic

Different sort of thing today for you cassette-loving, tapedeck marrying, man-and-machine-legalization fiends out there, but still the plastic you love.  In the past CASSETTE ASSAULT features we had something of a theme based on what we selected, but since these cassettes featured here were, first off, random, and second off the only ones we had to review at the moment, we had to ride with it.  But we needed something to connect them all.  Well, since the first one we heard had a dead puppy on the cover we figured, hey, why not toss out a bunch of puppy references, regardless if they mean anything?  That way you all can sit back and say, “you know, these guys always find a way to bring it all together.”  Then later, after you’ve read it all, you can complain and say “but wait a minute, that had nothing to do with anything.”  Do puppies need purpose?  Sometimes things happen for no reason.  So consider Deaf Sparrow today such a force, pure chaos, things without purpose, but things which you must nonetheless experience.  Now get ready for some puppies.

FUCK-USHIMA – FIRST COME, FIRST SERVED

Uh oh, this band is coming at you FULL CAPS.  Some bands hide behind CAPS, pretending they have the power to back up capital letters, but typically they just have poor netiquette.  Other bands are fully capable of CAPS in both name AND ALBUM TITLE, as seen here.  We got into a flame war with some fans of Finnish hardcore some years ago before the new site went active, and since then haven’t seen much of it, but now this we don’t mind at all, because this is crust from Finland.  FUCK-USHIMA, obviously referencing the Fukushima nuclear disaster, have chosen a great historical reference, because they essentially sound like a collapsing nuclear plant and the resultant effects on the environment.  This white plastic filth comes in an even filthier, cheap cardboard sleeve featuring a decaying puppy on the front.  This is all about death, death to everything, even cute little puppies, because everything is someday consumed by flies.  And FUCK-USHIMA is the puppy’s eulogy, with effects-heavy bass that melts the skin, guitars that could even be the bass they’re so damn crust, screams, and drums punching you in the stomach.  This one is good in any context where something’s rotting nearby, and we don’t just mean puppies, this is about existence rotting and falling to pieces.  FUCK-USHIMA Official Facebook  Score: 4.8 / 5

Impenitent Thief – S/T EP 2014

Now, NoVisible Scars we’re familiar with, it’s an all-tape, all-the-time label that sleeps in cassingle sheaths.  We’ve featured his stuff in every cassette feature so far, and this is NO EXCEPTION (more CAPS from above to get out of our system).  Not only is this no exception, but it’s also fitting, because Impenitent Thief flow nicely from the above.  The sludge goes further, and it alters into black/death metal for this selection.  Now currently these guys are quite new, just having formed after the breakup of Witch Tomb, but they play like they’ve been sniffing tape for decades.  This S/T wavers back and forth between death and black a number of times, keeping it generally combined throughout, something like sacrificial puppies in a bloody stew.  Their heads bob up and down in the meaty filth, churning in swirls of frothing bubbles as someone blasphemes Christ from the cross nearby and mocks his passing.  It’s surprising this Christian image hasn’t been used more in this kind of genre.  What kind?  The usual raw you’d expect, with torn-throat roaring, fragile chords seared in flames, and nearly constant drive.  It feels like something traded for some South American goregrind in the 1980s, and with stuff like this out there there’s no wonder tapeheads never died and never will, and why they will always be on the other cross, laughing at the Savior’s demise and spitting on puppies below.  Impenitent Thief Official Facebook  Score: 4.6 / 5

Trysth – Soulchambers

At first, sadly, the name Coal Chamber came into our head when we scoped this, but thankfully Trysth was able to eradicate that tragic memory.  Coming from Sofia, Bulgaria, they also were able to eradicate the concept that Eastern Europe is roughly ten years behind the west, as you usually hear in academic circles.  Well them there academics don’t ain’t nothing not know at alls.  Though in Bulgaria you have only a little over 300 metal acts, in various genres, there’s only one of the post variety, this one.  And from listening to Soulchambers it’s probably all they’ll ever need for quite awhile.  It was released by the band on CD, but also Serpent Eve Records on cassette, otherwise you wouldn’t see it here.  But you’ll be glad you did.  Soulchambers is like a magnum opus of post-metal.  You can’t listen to the tracks in separation, it basically requires a complete listen, since each piece has some relationship to the rest.  So, if anything, that might be the only complaint some will have.  Taking any particular song without the others is probably a bad idea, like listening to Holst’s The Planets but only “Mars Bringer of War”.  Sick track, but come on now, you need the whole picture, it’s called The Planets not Planet.  So Soulchambers has a similar thing going for it.  Considering how much time went into the creation of the whole picture, not one particular track or riff, it’s more of a mental investment, but hey, that’s part of what post is about.  We realized early, while listening to it, that these guys are the puppy at the head of a dead dogsled team pulling forward without a master.  Trysth Official Facebook  Score: 4.8 / 5

No Way – Sing Praises

Now let’s bring it back full circle to something similar to the first cassette, though this cover is puppyless.  And listen, anyone who decides to use a horse for art should probably be banned from creating another album cover ever again, because it will never look cool.  But we’ll let that slide with No Way because for the modern punk scene they’ve found a way to go beyond the 4/4 oiboy, two-stepping, “ever hear Rancid?” types with Green Day patches (but only from Kerplunk!).  Like stagnant metal or hardcore that stuff isn’t for us.  This here is.  Sing Praises could resurrect a dead puppy faster than the Re-Animator using horse stimulants (see, we got the horse back into the review easily enough).  What they’ve done here is covered that typical NY punk/hardcore energy in swamp scum and added more aggression, but not enough to diverge into death, blackened, or crust.  Some have apparently compared them to Helmet and Unsane, and though we don’t like to name drop, seriously combining those two would basically equal No Way.  They have more bite than punk, more edge than typical hardcore, but there’s also an atmosphere of maturity, primarily developed to fruition through the vocals.  When we saw that horse, we expected something with much less kick than we got, probably no hooves, but by this point we’re kind of wishing all of these review had horse references instead of puppies, which we did very little with anyway.  So let’s finish it off by saying Sing Praises is to the NY scene what puppies are to life, as long as they are living.  No Way Official Facebook  Score: 4.8 / 5

 

Written by Stanley Stepanic

Autocrat Rating System

Don’t be sad bad mad, we rate like it’s school here you provincial scum! 3/5 is far from “good,” it’s a goddamn D- duh! Get real, learn the numbers.

5 – The absolute best, worship as a deity.

4.5 – Minimum rating for canon material.

4 – Minimum rating for deuterocanon material.

3.9 – Maximum rating for apocrypha material.

0 – The absolute worst, purge, exorcise, sacrifice and ridicule this filth.

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kariti - Covered Mirrors (Limited Edition White Vinyl)
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