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Apsulov: End of Gods (Cyberpunk Viking Scare)

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Apsulov: End of Gods (Cyberpunk Viking Scare)

  Freaks, how do I put this? This game is exploding with badassery. From desperately scurrying through shadows away from trolls to fighting all sorts of fierce, colossal beasts with a mechanical arm, there’s always something refreshing. Apsulov: End of Gods was forged by small Swedish horror game studio Angry Demon and it perfectly blends […]

Maligner – Attraction to Annihilation (Everything Should Be Burned)

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Maligner – Attraction to Annihilation (Everything Should Be Burned)

  Lol this is such a goddamn fitting album to review today, it really is. If you're not aware, this site is so apolitical you'll swear off any potential party affiliation or political worldview immediately. Keep that crap out of here, unless it's to start flame wars in the comments so the site gets more hits. […]

Crawl – Rituals (Sweden Does It Again, Basically)

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Crawl – Rituals (Sweden Does It Again, Basically)

  I feel like I've been getting a lot of Swedish metal the past few months. Actually, it's probably more than I've noticed it since it's been pretty damn good in general. I really need to stop with the italics joke, so let's see if I can make it through the rest of this. Really I don't need […]

CASSETTE ASSAULT (Stuff I’ve Been Sitting Upon)

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CASSETTE ASSAULT (Stuff I’ve Been Sitting Upon)

It's been a long time since I've done one of these, and that's primarily because of a special app I'm seriously working on for the site where I can give some press to stuff I don't review on in this way anymore. Bad art, or just ehhh releases, will all have their due eventually. Sometimes this […]

Vanhelga – Fredagsmys (Black Metalcholy)

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Vanhelga – Fredagsmys (Black Metalcholy)

  Yeah this Swedish outfit has has got me crying. The sound of it turns the most pleasant disposition into a soiled, soggy mess. Plus I'm pretty depressed I haven't heard much of Vanhelga before this moment. The name seems as though it's somewhere in the mists of my memories, but it's but a whisper too […]

Reverorum ib Malacht – Im Ra Distare (STFU Title’s Too Long)

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Reverorum ib Malacht – Im Ra Distare (STFU Title’s Too Long)

  I'm, so sick of the hype surrounding this album and I'm going to be as brief as possible, but trust me, it's goddamn hard not to go off. Practically the only reason I'm reviewing it is because people just can't STFU about it. I don't even really like the cover. Oh, wow, some anti-Christian […]

Inisans – Transition (F It Metal)

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Inisans – Transition (F It Metal)

  I have no idea what in the world Inisans means, and I don't care. Don't bother searching, either, because nothing will help you, trust me. I have skills man, don't bother I did it already. So I don't care, there's no reason to care, and Google can F off about asking me whether I meant […]

The Grotesquery – The Lupine Anathema (Big Words For Werewolves)

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The Grotesquery – The Lupine Anathema (Big Words For Werewolves)

I'm trying to think of the last time I experienced werewolves and death metal coming together for a love child. Maybe it never happened, but I feel like it had to at some point. Well, if not, or if it did and I forgot, time for some new memories. The members of The Grotesquery are separated […]

Candle – The Keeper’s Curse (High School Bus Ride Metal)

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Candle – The Keeper’s Curse (High School Bus Ride Metal)

These guys have been supremely ripped on by some sites out there, or have been bullied, if you will. I can see why, yet I have to disagree with some of the upper classmen varsity banter. Yo, Candle isn't trying to be the best, they just want to fit in. Almost everything about the presentation […]

Beastiality – Worshippers of Unearthly Perversions (Let’s See This Get Promoted)

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Beastiality – Worshippers of Unearthly Perversions (Let’s See This Get Promoted)

My promotion for this album is probably going to get shot down immediately because of the band's name, but that's the reality of the underground. Filthy names, little exposure because of filthy names. Who would want to name their band after sex acts with animals anyway even if the spelling is slightly changed? It still […]

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