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AD&D \ beholder shit \ blackened death metal \ Blood Harvest Records \ California \ one-dude metal \ role-playing metal lol wut \ RPG \ United States
Xantam – Altered State (AD&D Blackened Death Metal)
Is it a thing that bands starting with "Xa" are one dude? Total exaggeration on my part, because only Xasthur comes to mind, but now there's Xantam. Maybe I'm on to something... Anyway, so clearly there's an AD&D obsession here, because one, dude's got a beholder on both of his releases (this and a […]
Bloober Team \ Bloober Team NA \ first-person survival horror \ lol Bullet is my buddy \ PC \ Steam \ video games
Blair Witch (You Can Pet the Dog Horror Game)
Any nerd has probably seen their fair share of videogame adaptations based on friggin awesome movies and considering the biblical magnificence of the cult classic The Blair Witch Project (1999) we can pretty much saw this coming (sooner or later). The iconic hype behind the film’s take on cursed woods discombobulating back-packing survivors to […]
blackened death metal \ Gilbert Miranda \ Iron Bonehead Productions \ Lingua Mortis Artwork \ occult death metal \ Oregon \ Portland
Witchbones – The Seas of Draugen (Occult Death Metal on the Open Seas)
Lol I always think the theme of the sea is silly in metal, but then I remember I've encountered a few bands over the years that have turned it from silly to formidable. We will now be adding to that imaginary list Witchbones, who preach the canon of occult death metal from broken ships […]
Costa Rica \ Misanthropic Art \ post-black metal \ scary spells \ skull stuff \ Terratur Possessions
Umbra Conscientia – Yellowing of the Lunar Consciousness (That’s a Mouthful Black Metal)
I forgot where Costa Rica was until I listened to these guys. For some reason I thought it was like an island by itself but it turns out it's just near Panama. See, you can learn something new every time you listen to crud music, I swear. Perhaps the most important thing being that […]
horror games \ PC \ scary sad kids \ Solkitte \ Steam \ third-person horror \ video games
Eldervale (Cthonic Orphange of Creepy)
Uh oh it's some creepy PS2-era shit look out. I like games that risk their existence with that kind of aesthetic. Or I'm just old fogey and any chance to live in the past I take from all holes. That's great because Eldervale has lots of holes you enter, though it really didn't impress […]
blackened hardcore \ Croatia \ dead bird stuff \ post-hardcore \ Transcending Obscurity Records
Bednja – Doline Su Ostale Iza Nas (Dead Bird Blackened Hardcore)
Wow what is it with Transcending Obscurity Records hitting it out of the park recently? This is one of a few dead bird covers I've seen in recent promo emails, but Doline Su Ostale Iza Nas is the smashed avian object d'art I decided to review because Bednja might be the greatest thing to […]
Canada \ glass in eyes thrash \ Quebec \ Svart Records \ thrash metal \ Velio Josto
Warsenal – Feast Your Eyes (Glass in Eyes Thrash Metal)
Lol holy shit if Velio Josto's sick cover doesn't say "yes you will like this," then you deserve some glass to the eyes, and ears because you don't deserve to listen either. I saw some complaints or something about the art but I won't even bother trashing that drivel. Warsenal are a fifth-edition textbook […]
cassette \ filthy products \ Greece \ limited edition \ post-black metal \ shirt \ so awesome
Natvre’s – Early Cvlts LIMITED EDITION Cassette and Shirt
Please note this is a PREORDER. Orders will ship within SIX WEEKS so take advantage of the package deal now! Anyway, since Deaf Sparrow's finances are in check, let us say, or rather, CEO has good job now yay, we can start CRAPPING OUT more stuff. For the past year I've been talking with […]
Arizona \ cyberbullying \ Diablo Macabre \ Diego Garza \ lol cyberbulled thrash \ Metal Devastation Records \ Motive \ retro thrash metal \ thrash metal
Motive – Fight the World (Cyberbullied Thrash)
I'm actually wondering why I'm reviewing this, because it's not going to be good. First reason I can muster, that art by Diego Garza (Diablo Macabre) is thick. Second reason, actually, no, we'll stop there. I have no other reasons I'm afraid. I've gone on the anti-retro thrash tirade a few times, or just […]
Belarus \ black metal \ Saturn Sector Rex \ scary black metal \ scary font \ scary logo \ scary symbols \ scary torch
Downcross – Mysteries of the Left Path (Scary Torch Black Metal)
Alright you know 1,000,000% this is black metal. It can't be anything else. All the signs are there. Dripping creep logo with some pentagram and upside-down cross shit in there, plus creepy goat head and bat wings, I mean wow that's just the logo and I'm not even close to done. What else? Lol, […]