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Nemedian Chronicles – The Savage Sword (Legit Conan Metal)

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Nemedian Chronicles – The Savage Sword (Legit Conan Metal)

  When a band takes an idea and makes it so blatant in everything they do, most often disaster ensues. Examples aren’t necessary, just trust me on this. But, here, with Nemedian Chronicles we find the standard broken. It’s not going to happen in this case. Conan will never fail us. Even though everything about […]

Meurtrières – Ronde de nuit (French Medieval Heavy Metal)

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Meurtrières – Ronde de nuit (French Medieval Heavy Metal)

  Well, here’s a band name I had to copy and paste because I couldn’t write it properly! But that’s besides the most important point, which is, sigh, sorry, like, well, you know, I wasn’t entirely sure I even liked this to review it. But, hey, a real critic (ahem, me, not with like 1000 […]

Aodon – Portraits (Emotional Atmospheric Black Metal)

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Aodon – Portraits (Emotional Atmospheric Black Metal)

  Again I’m convinced only the French can pull this style off as well as they do. People always rip on French stereotypes, and maybe there’s occasionally some truth in it, but if there’s one stereotype of which they should be proud, it’s their absolute mastery of emotional, atmospheric black metal. I mean jeez every […]

Impending Triumph – S/T (Traditionally Defined Heavy Metal)

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Impending Triumph – S/T (Traditionally Defined Heavy Metal)

  This one is completely emphatic about itself. Everything speaks of old school, epic, fantasy heavy metal. Just look at it! A logo forged from blades with a bastard sword in it, some barbarian warrior with a huge sword featuring more lugs than necessary, muscles in places they don’t exist, skulls of fallen enemies, fire, […]

Asylum Pyre – Call Me Inhuman (Holy Trinity Power Metal for Those Who LARP)

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Asylum Pyre – Call Me Inhuman (Holy Trinity Power Metal for Those Who LARP)

  Damn it if I don’t like this. Most power metal submissions I receive, well make that probably 99% of them, are passed upon. I can recall maybe 3 or 4 bands tops of this style that we’ve covered over the past decade. No joke. The power metal crowd can yell all it wants, you’re […]

Corrupter – Descent into Madness (That Punishing Type of Death Metal)

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Corrupter – Descent into Madness (That Punishing Type of Death Metal)

  I needed some punishing blows to my soul this week hot damn. I like need more potassium in my body or something and everything is out of whack (very true real-life story). I want to go full beast again so this is my current placebo this week until that becomes a reality, but even […]

Silhouette – Les Retranchements (I Get It You Don’t Atmopheric Black Metal)

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Silhouette – Les Retranchements (I Get It You Don’t Atmopheric Black Metal)

  I was trying to understand the hate I saw this debut getting on the onlines but then I remembered most people are idiots and I’m the best at this review thing. To summarize the brief lameness I witnessed, I read that Les Retranchements was lacking focus in its combination of the delicate with the […]

Morguiliath – Occult Sins New Unholy Dimension (Okkvlt French Black Metal)

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Morguiliath – Occult Sins New Unholy Dimension (Okkvlt French Black Metal)

  You can usually tell when a black metal band is about to go in a different direction. Let’s see what we’ve got here, superficially speaking, to explain what I mean. Almost illegible logo, not one, but two upside-down crosses, Old English Gothic font, black and white aesthetic, uh oh… What was I saying before? […]

Tentation – Le Berceau des Dieux (Better Than Maiden French Heavy Metal)

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Tentation – Le Berceau des Dieux (Better Than Maiden French Heavy Metal)

  Awwww yeah. I feel like I need to say that here. I mean I probably have said it elsewhere but this particular releases warrants a classic awwww yeah because it itself is classic heavy metal, but with a beautiful French twist that actually is true beef instead of queef. Sorry, French, we know the […]

Gorgon – Traditio Satanae (Black Punk or Something)

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Gorgon – Traditio Satanae (Black Punk or Something)

  The modern French vein of post-black metal has been a personal favorite of mine for some years, which has sadly led me to ignore much of the classic coming out of France simply out of habit. Gorgon has been in the scene since black metal became a “thing” back in the early 1990s, and […]

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