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Shadowland – The Necromancer’s Castle (Heavy Metal Magazine in Metal Form)

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Shadowland – The Necromancer’s Castle (Heavy Metal Magazine in Metal Form)

  Yay, congrats, Shadowland, you have the only album worth listening to that’s dropping this week. Everything else I think I puked all over. And yay, this is another rare instance where I give a positive review to epic heavy metal. But this one comes with more awesome than I could have ever imagined. Lead […]

Tentation – Le Berceau des Dieux (Better Than Maiden French Heavy Metal)

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Tentation – Le Berceau des Dieux (Better Than Maiden French Heavy Metal)

  Awwww yeah. I feel like I need to say that here. I mean I probably have said it elsewhere but this particular releases warrants a classic awwww yeah because it itself is classic heavy metal, but with a beautiful French twist that actually is true beef instead of queef. Sorry, French, we know the […]

Black Mass – Feast of the Forbidden Tree (Blackened “The Metal”)

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Black Mass – Feast of the Forbidden Tree (Blackened “The Metal”)

  Oooo here’s a nice one. I likea me some thrash of the more violent type, but there’s more to this than that. And, to be honest, I thought Black Mass was going to be some power metal RPG bullshit about barbarians stealing your women but it ended up being sickened blackened old school thrash […]

Lucifer’s Hammer – The Trip (WTF Do You Want? Dark Fantasy Metal)

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Lucifer’s Hammer – The Trip (WTF Do You Want? Dark Fantasy Metal)

  This is such a pleasant release. I’m not sure how else to begin except by saying WTF do you want? Take a band from Chile, which named themselves after a Larry Niven book (and were not the first to do it), toss in fantasy, sci-fi generalities, and old school heavy metal, and you get […]

Glacier – The Passing of Time (The Power Metal Crown Has Passed)

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Glacier – The Passing of Time (The Power Metal Crown Has Passed)

  These dudes are so carefree, and it’s such a welcome, chill breath upon the skin. I knew they were chill when I checked out the band photo. Band photos can tell you pretty much 90% about a band and its music. So here we have these dudes just standing there, almost no emotion, against […]

Ice War – Defender, Destroyer (One-Man Snow-Hating Heavy Metal)

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Ice War – Defender, Destroyer (One-Man Snow-Hating Heavy Metal)

  Nice, some actual heavy metal that’s actually good. I was struggling to understand what in the hell this band name was about since this is now a one-man power act that was originally part of Iron Dogs (known for their risque covers), and that name made sense. Ice War, like, what is that? Is […]

Marthe – Sisters of Darkness (I Believe in Heavy Metal Again)

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Marthe – Sisters of Darkness (I Believe in Heavy Metal Again)

  Sometimes something so short and simple can be so freaking powerful. Though calling this a demo is a bit inapplicable to what is really a beyond-EP length freaking beast out of nowhere. Heavy metal, doom, and all that sort of thing are so often beaten into the ground by the templates utilized by most […]

Lutharö – Wings of Agony (Melodic Toddler Death Metal)

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Lutharö – Wings of Agony (Melodic Toddler Death Metal)

  Yaaaaaaaaahhhhh (with a bit of fluctuating). That’s practically how all these albums start out, those scream from the heart vocals, I just can’t mimic the “epic” guitars and such properly with words so add those too. But damn does it feels moderately good this time for some reason WTF. I’m not sure I can […]

Stonecast – I Earther (I Wanter More Space Metal)

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Stonecast – I Earther (I Wanter More Space Metal)

  Wow, what do you know, I was ripping on power/melodic and whatever else metal a week or so ago and here we are again. Is this the end? The artwork by Stan Decker would seem to suggest so, but I do have some kind words today, at least for Stonecast, and at least a […]

Pounder – Uncivilized (Badass Period Heavy Metal)

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Pounder – Uncivilized (Badass Period Heavy Metal)

  I can’t remember the last time I reviewed heavy metal. Unlike thrash, which you still feel totally badass for listening to, heavy metal can lack that effect outside of its original context, that is, the olden times. It has a tendency to feel more dated than Satanic imagery in metal at large. Oh shit […]

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