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Nemedian Chronicles – The Savage Sword (Legit Conan Metal)

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Nemedian Chronicles – The Savage Sword (Legit Conan Metal)

  When a band takes an idea and makes it so blatant in everything they do, most often disaster ensues. Examples aren’t necessary, just trust me on this. But, here, with Nemedian Chronicles we find the standard broken. It’s not going to happen in this case. Conan will never fail us. Even though everything about […]

Leathürbitch – Shattered Vanity (Leathery Sleaze Metal)

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Leathürbitch – Shattered Vanity (Leathery Sleaze Metal)

  With a name like Leathürbitch there are no secrets to be purged. No past wrongs that need to be expunged. No lies to be forgiven, no mistakes. If one is to combine the leather with anything, it’s outright sleaze and there’s no coming back from the path. There is no guilt, no shame, only […]

Luzifer – Iron Shackles (German Birthright Heavy Metal)

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Luzifer – Iron Shackles (German Birthright Heavy Metal)

  Nice. I say this not necessarily because this particular release is the greatest thing ever, but it’s definitely the greatest promo of this week. Man, yet again, I got slammed by some of the most banal submissions ever. Horrid cover art, or music so derivative and stale I thought it was old emails from […]

Shadowland – The Necromancer’s Castle (Heavy Metal Magazine in Metal Form)

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Shadowland – The Necromancer’s Castle (Heavy Metal Magazine in Metal Form)

  Yay, congrats, Shadowland, you have the only album worth listening to that’s dropping this week. Everything else I think I puked all over. And yay, this is another rare instance where I give a positive review to epic heavy metal. But this one comes with more awesome than I could have ever imagined. Lead […]

Tentation – Le Berceau des Dieux (Better Than Maiden French Heavy Metal)

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Tentation – Le Berceau des Dieux (Better Than Maiden French Heavy Metal)

  Awwww yeah. I feel like I need to say that here. I mean I probably have said it elsewhere but this particular releases warrants a classic awwww yeah because it itself is classic heavy metal, but with a beautiful French twist that actually is true beef instead of queef. Sorry, French, we know the […]

Black Mass – Feast of the Forbidden Tree (Blackened “The Metal”)

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Black Mass – Feast of the Forbidden Tree (Blackened “The Metal”)

  Oooo here’s a nice one. I likea me some thrash of the more violent type, but there’s more to this than that. And, to be honest, I thought Black Mass was going to be some power metal RPG bullshit about barbarians stealing your women but it ended up being sickened blackened old school thrash […]

Lucifer’s Hammer – The Trip (WTF Do You Want? Dark Fantasy Metal)

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Lucifer’s Hammer – The Trip (WTF Do You Want? Dark Fantasy Metal)

  This is such a pleasant release. I’m not sure how else to begin except by saying WTF do you want? Take a band from Chile, which named themselves after a Larry Niven book (and were not the first to do it), toss in fantasy, sci-fi generalities, and old school heavy metal, and you get […]

Glacier – The Passing of Time (The Power Metal Crown Has Passed)

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Glacier – The Passing of Time (The Power Metal Crown Has Passed)

  These dudes are so carefree, and it’s such a welcome, chill breath upon the skin. I knew they were chill when I checked out the band photo. Band photos can tell you pretty much 90% about a band and its music. So here we have these dudes just standing there, almost no emotion, against […]

Ice War – Defender, Destroyer (One-Man Snow-Hating Heavy Metal)

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Ice War – Defender, Destroyer (One-Man Snow-Hating Heavy Metal)

  Nice, some actual heavy metal that’s actually good. I was struggling to understand what in the hell this band name was about since this is now a one-man power act that was originally part of Iron Dogs (known for their risque covers), and that name made sense. Ice War, like, what is that? Is […]

Marthe – Sisters of Darkness (I Believe in Heavy Metal Again)

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Marthe – Sisters of Darkness (I Believe in Heavy Metal Again)

  Sometimes something so short and simple can be so freaking powerful. Though calling this a demo is a bit inapplicable to what is really a beyond-EP length freaking beast out of nowhere. Heavy metal, doom, and all that sort of thing are so often beaten into the ground by the templates utilized by most […]

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