Quick Reviews – October 2017

Alright here we go with another dose of Quick Reviews you scum. Quite a variety here, though I was hard hit by the country of Germany in October for some reason, not sure why. Out of all the stuff that wasn’t as visually pleasing these are the ones that made the cut for a little babble from my über alles mouth. Alphabetical order, with dates of publication in October and labels indicated, unless self-released.

Agony Kings – S/T

6 October 2017, self-released. New York-based Agony Kings definitely sound like they’re from New York. There’s that NY punk and hardcore feel right freaking there man. Though the production is occasionally thin, their energy is not, and this is what keeps you interested. As with the usual NY hardcore I receive, there’s just this “from there” sound to it that’s hard to misidentify, and for that, yet again, I find the genre sometimes is unwilling to work harder to spread from the consistent, skinny-jeans fan-base it caters towards. Experimenting is always good, but there’s always going to be a solid band keeping the old ways alive. Score: 4 / 5

 

Deadfreight of Soul – Tortured Puppets

20 October 2017, Kernkraftritter Records. Yeah this one. Any band that mentions Lamb of God in their creds is going to sound one way and only one way; like a hack version of Lamb of God. Basically that’s enough said, but let me continue. I don’t get it with these German bootleg bands. They all sound the same, they all give the same nods to the same band, they all have the same approach, and they all seem to have a good working grasp of English without the creative edge they need. Deadfreight of Soul? First off, “deadfreight” is two words, not one, and you’re making a reference to shipping goods in a boat? And why just one soul? Soul in the plural seems more effective as a symbol, but regardless it’s all dead with the album title, Tortured Puppets, which if it doesn’t make you laugh the music will. In fact, you know what, if you don’t laugh don’t read this site anymore. Score: 2.8 / 5

 

DRAGONHAMMER – Obscurity

27 October 2017, My Kingdom Music. As soon as the 1980s-era Sega Genesis soundtrack begins, you’re ready to play some Phantasy Star III, but then you remember this is a metal band being totally serious, and they call themselves DRAGONHAMMER WITH FULL CAPS. Actually, I could be wrong, but there is too much confusion with the spellings I’ve found so I’ll stick with that joke. The whole epic thing is something that seems likely to be listened to whilst playing some 2nd edition AD&D, but even then you’d turn it off because it’s going to ruin the mood. This kind of thing can turn off anyone to good fantasy. Great musicians, absolutely ludicrous sound. I really don’t know why this genre is still a thing to anyone and I knew this had to be from either Italy or Germany when I saw it, I just knew it. Sure enough, it is. Doesn’t matter which country, though, can we just put an end to this genre please? Score: 2.9 / 5

 

Hades Archer – Temple of the Impure

13 October 2017, Hells Headbangers. Basically I put this scary one on here because no way in hell I could promote the imagery on Facebook without heavy edits, even though it’s good enough for a bigger promotion and review, but with all the praise it’s already received will mine even matter? And I don’t want to censor the image, that gets on my nerves, and I get digitally assaulted on Facebook for doing it. I have to stay true to the roots somehow, so here it is here, uncensored but really small so you can barely see it. It makes me sad, because this band is just so filthy I can’t get enough of it. Hades Archer are yet another example of how disgustingly good Chilean black metal and blackened death metal is becoming. I’m pretty sure I have yet to receive a submission from Chile with either tag that doesn’t saturate my loins. I’m just going to say from now on that Chilean black metal is just good, period. Score: 4.3 / 5

 

Insurrection – Extraction

6 October 2017, Galy Records. Technology, enslaved people, big robot head, technological logos, yep another one of these. Funny the band calls itself Insurrection since it’s the most unrevolutionary thing ever. Almost as straightforward as that brief description was, so too runs the music. Tired, typical riffs, chugging, lugging, vocals with occasional pig squealing for that extra anti-industry edge, it’s all there to annoy you. Add robots and technology stuff too. I am robot. This is not metal. My program does not accept the code provided to the stack. I checked at one point to see how far I was through the damn thing and realized it was only track four. The fact that it felt like track twenty tells you everything. Score: 2.1 / 5

 

Las Casas Viejas – goule/H

11 October 2017, by Alerta Antifascista Records. Yeah, this group must be a bunch of anime fans with that album title, but I could tell they were definitely German by the cover, though I can’t explain how (also Austrian though), and I’m even more confused if you consider the name Las Casas Viejas is clearly taken from an anarchist movement in Spain in the 1930s.  Out of all the Germanic submissions we have in this October feature today, goule/H is the only album I’d listen to more than once, all songs too. In typical German style, this post-black metal ensemble are masters of cold emptiness. Every passage is essentially spectacular, but especially when they drop into cleanliness that remains yet decayed. Great, but please tell them to get some better art next time! Score: 4.6 / 5

 

Masters of Diguise – Alpha/Omega

20 October 2017, Limb Music. Alright here’s some speed/power metal, been awhile. Mostly because it’s annoying, and yes this band is naming themselves by making a speed/power metal reference. I almost stopped there. And jeez, what’s with all these German submissions for October? Masters of Disguise? That reminds me of that awful Dana Carvey movie and action figures in one go. That was almost the end, but I had to listen, I had to see, since the blue goat skull eyeball thing was almost cool (see cover) Let me just say one thing about this, bar chimes. The entirety is thus assumed on that fact alone, but if you don’t get it, let me explain. Alpha/Omega has a forced, epic quality that never attaches itself to the listener unless you have a thing for the melodramatic. Any band that even tries to use bar chimes in an unironic way should be banned from the earth. Score: 3.3 / 5

 

Osi and the Jupiter – Uthuling Hyl

Technically released in September, but this one is due out in December from Eisenwald, so it’s weird marginal status surrounding October made me put it in October. I was truly touched by Osi and the Jupiter and Uthuling Hyl, other than the lame rune art. Screw that, it’s been done so much I could mistake it for too many things I don’t want to mention. But we’ll let that go, because musically this is superb. I’ve heard a lot of attempts at “true” paganism in folk, but rarely have I been convinced, especially when the band is actually from Ohio and claims Norse power as their own. But the chanting, the absolute life they breathe into the instruments, I mean, damn, never before has an album of this type actually transported me back to a time I don’t belong in. I seriously feel like I’m wearing animal skins and casting rune stones into icy lakes, like I’m totally feeling it I’m serious. Score: 4.7 / 5

 

Prostitution – Egyptian Blue

10 October 2017, self-released. What a bizarre EP, and I’m not sure that comes as a compliment or an insult. They have a weird aesthetic, evidenced by their current Facebook banner which has their name (Prostitution) as a pink, neon sign. You’ll be even more confused by the music. As the promo states these guys incorporate a bit of everything including post-black metal and shoegaze, and the cover seems to make some sort of Pink Floyd reference, or at least that’s what most people are going to get out of it. If Pink Floyd just formed, they pretty much would sound like this, and that is an insult. Prostitution are so scattered they can never seem to pull it together. If someone doesn’t notice we might be treated, eventually, to samples of cash registers and a giant, inflatable pig as “art”. Just when a sick riffs hits, the music drops into a genre so different, and without enough stitching, that it quickly falls apart like some hipster dude trying out crochet to get in touch with his feminine. Score: 3.9 / 5

 

Yayla – Pas.to.rale

Yeah this one is actually from February, but I’m getting to it now. Shut up I own this site. So Yayla, one of many bands commanded by weirdo, often-banned-from-Facebook Merdumgiriz, is black metal. Honestly, at first listen, it annoyed the piss out of me. The primary reason is the huge fog of static over the entirety of it. But deep within this fog is a sense of the emotional quality of better black metal, or especially the suicidal variety. However, one thing this band can’t do is ambient, as easily proven with “Pandora,” an absolutely horrid, is-he-doing-this-in-prison-with-one-keyboard vomit pile, or just a are you really doing this moment. Actually, if it was only one such annoyance it would be forgivable, but this is not. It feels rushed, brought too quickly to market without taking the time to really give it a presence. Score: 3.6 / 5 

 

Written by Stanley Stepanic