Neptunian Maximalism – Éons (TRASH TRASH TRASH STFU)

 

I'm probably going to get some shit for this one but oh well, that's typical. And like usual I seem to be the only person in the world who can see through the haze of "woah so different." I laugh hard when I see glittering generalities written about stuff like this. Hypnotic. Not interested in half-measures. Daunting. Yet grounded in recognizable forms. Lol, sure. Neptunian Maximalism, for all of their efforts, are a failed conglomerate, let me say that outright. Put together a number of fairly respected names who have sort-of broken boundaries here and there and it's bound to be great. NOT. That shit only works with the proper training, and this gathering simply lacks it, like most do, to be fair. It's not their fault. For all its attempts to sound so cutting edge and avant-garde, Éons is simply a free-form exercise in genres that most underground critics have little experience with, so of course it sounds awesome to them. I can appreciate what Neptunian Maximalism wants to do, but not what they actually do. Take a sample first before I puke all over you.

   

It's clear there's some knowledge of what an instrument is behind this, but the actual output is only commendable if you haven't heard this stuff before. Éons was conceived as a multi-disc expanse of deepness, but like it is with most free-form acid jazz fun time happy groups, it's just a freaking mess. Neptunian Maximalism do absolutely no better than more skilled musical conglomerates who actually live this stuff from the womb. Like usual the primary deciding factor is how much of the randomness can come together into meaningful forms now and then and the answer is very rarely. Saxophones fart, drums pound, metal shrieks, and people moan, chant, and grumble whatever the fuck they want. Typically this kind of product is only good in the moment, that is live, and putting it down on plastic frequently a mistake only taken seriously by those who have no experience in it prior. There's very little that's memorable and meaningful in it, though I commend the attempts at playing this stuff within a darker format. But it just comes off as pretentious 90% of the time, and images of the musically woke sipping at overpriced coffees while dipping a cigarette in it as they pretend to "get it" will immediately be summoned in your mind like a lich at an annoying point in a D&D quest. There's better out there, trust me, and if you don't know it by now you wouldn't get it anyway.

 

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Written by Stanley, Devourer of Souls

Neptunian Maximalism – Éons
I, Voidhanger Records
Cover Art: Kaneko Tomiyuki
1.8 / 5