True Criminals (Psychopathic Moron Crime Thriller)


What do you get when you take Dumb and Dumber and add ultra crude elements, murder, and humor that leaves nothing to the imagination? Daryl and Dax. No last names, just Daryl and Dax. Two brothers who see an opportunity (to them, and definitely not to anyone else) of taking the blame for a murder they didn’t commit, in hopes of gaining fame and fortune when the notoriety of their crime hits. Of course it doesn’t go the way they expect; these two very likeable dumbasses end up finding out some truths that mean their plan doesn’t make sense to go ahead, and now they find themselves actually in trouble for something they haven’t done. This is a story is told from third-person perspective, but still told by the brothers, and their unreliable narration really comes into play. What is truth and what isn’t makes True Criminals all the more fun to read.


“Daryl abruptly halted his spiel when he saw Jimmy’s gaze transfixed on the glob of phlegm on the ground. “Jimmy?” he inquired. Dax also noticed Daryl looking at Jimmy and then followed his gaze towards the loogie. Jimmy squat down, pulled out a pocket knife, and scraped the mucous. He held it close to his face, broke the seal with his fingernail and was overjoyed to find a wet cocaine lump inside. He swiftly brought the blade near his right nostril and inhaled deeply, then shouted with delight, “WHOO !! Knew it! Still a little bit in there!” Daryl had no reaction.”


I’ve definitely read more gory and heavy stuff, but the way crude bits and pieces are added works well for the story. True Criminals doesn’t take itself too seriously, and it’s mostly shit, sick, bodily fluids of all description and super dumb deaths that makes up the bulk of the gross. It’s very cinematic, which follows the undertone of the story. Something like a Seven Psychopaths feel, where dumb shit continues to happen, the characters are all a bit dumb, even when they’re not supposed to be, but all tied together for a brilliant experience. The characters are all very funny and light hearted. Even the baddies! My only gripe is that True Criminals is a bit long. I get that Dax and Daryl talk for ages, and their story-telling is extensive, but as a reader there were definitely times I found myself wondering when the finale was going to happen. There were probably parts that held little value that could’ve been removed but it was such a fun read, gruesome when it needs to be and entertaining throughout. A must if you need something lighter and not as extreme.


True Criminals Official Website

Written by Arianne, Sovereign Deity of the Damned

True Criminals (2023)
Robert Milburn and Richard Adrian
Cover Art: Unknown
4 / 5