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I can't go on \ irony \ misnomer \ quasi-boring thrash metal \ someone help me \ Unlocking the Truth \ what how even \ why?
Unlocking the Truth of Said 8th Grade Metal Band (Yeah, They Suck, Get Over It)
Metal, everyone who’s in wishes other people would just stay the Hell out. A huge portion of it thrives on the underground fanatic, that type who covers themselves in logos until their skin is practically made out of cloth, who purchases everything on cassette for some God damn reason, who knows what metal is, and […]
2Black \ how could you even \ just why \ metal shame \ there's no way \ why? \ worst band photo ever \ wow
The Worst Band Photo in History
No, what you see above is not the photograph in question. Keep reading for the reveal. Oh why, ghastly world of ours, why do you permit such things to exist? It’s band photos of this nature that make us question if there really is a point to it all. The answer in this case is […]
all your tapes are belong to cassette player \ beautiful plastic \ Cassette Assault \ cassingle \ give more tapes \ more tapes \ tapes a million
Cassette Assault! No Visible Scars
It’s a…..cassette assault! That’s a new thing for us around here. We get a bunch of cassettes from a single label, or band, and we have at it, firing that beautiful celluloid like so many bullets, filling your corpse with the notations of sweet, hissing tape through a blown-speaker Magnavox. Take it like a champ! […]
1980s \ action figures \ baby \ check it \ dude \ the real deal here all legit
Top 10 Most Badass Awesome Action Figures of the 1980s
Sometimes I wonder if I’m just reaching that age where nostalgia kicks in. Then I think, no, today really does suck. As far as pop culture goes, it all pretty much ruled from the 70s to mid 90s. In the middle is the golden period of absolute coolness in toys, the 1980s. You’re probably expecting […]
Earth Burnt Black \ Element of Chaos \ Empire of the Scourged \ Hammerfist \ Head Cleaner \ Hogbitch \ Hoth \ Murder Cafe \ Quick and Dirty Reviews \ some suck some luck \ The Belonging
Quick and Dirty Reviews
Here we go again, folks, dirty reviews, and a hella dirty, poorly Photoshopped header taken from a forgotten Mexican horror film that probably involves wrestling. Whenever we have a ton of things to dish out, and we need it done fast, hard, and dirty, we do this. A paragraph with some blab and a score, […]
compilation \ FUCK ALL YALL HIPSTERS \ Fuck the Underground \ give me a PhD now pls \ probably awesome \ too much comp for one man or woman to withstand
Compilation Dissertation: Fuck the Underground Volume 1
New feature folks, and here it is. Sometimes we get compilations around here, and we’re always at odds with how to exactly approach a review. Do we simply go over it as any submission, picking out a few tidbits on which you may gnaw? A few stale crumbs on which you may piss? And then […]
C6 Recordings \ greatest hardcore ever made \ hardcore \ hardcore so good you'll swear off all other core \ Pollution
The Vault: Pollution – N.S. Drugs
Here it is folks, a resurrection, the first resurrection, maybe the only resurrection you’re ever going to need. A new feature we’re going to do around here is hereby called “The Vault,” but maybe we’ll change that sometime in the future. Basically, old reviews from the original site will be reposted here, if we feel they’re […]
death \ Faith No More \ hate \ I didn't hate Martin Atkins before but I think I do now \ there is no god \ why?
Fuck This: Faith No More – Tribute of the Year, Disk 2
Shortly after completing part one of “Fuck This: Tribute of the Year“, I began to feel ill. I’m not making this up. For about three weeks, I felt malaised, lethargic… unwell. I’m a productive type and I lead a very busy life. To that end, I often don’t sleep enough or eat properly, but this […]
Atari 2600 \ join in the suck and love it \ Top 10 Worst \ video games
The 10 Worst Atari 2600 Games (E.T. Is Not One of Them, Duh)
Yeah, sure, it’s been done, but it’s never been done right, and in this case it’s being done again because we’re deleting the original blog. So yes, this is a rewrite of a previous article, but everyone loves these things. However, in this case, there isn’t a proper ‘top ten worst’ list for the Atari 2600. They all […]
death metal \ Eye of Solitude \ funeral doom \ Kaotoxin \ metal \ Nephren-Ka
Double Header: Kaotoxin
Ah yes, here we go people, it’s time for two-in-one, it’s time for two for the price of one, it’s time for two in your eyes, two in your ears, two in whatever other orifice you have two of. That’s the whole purpose of the double-header, friends, we give you a quick, meaty dose of […]
