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Plebeian Grandstand – Lowgazers

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Plebeian Grandstand – Lowgazers

I’ve been out of the reviewing game for a long time and it is because of this album. My first few listens deemed this album as just a mess. I couldn’t understand why anyone would enjoy it. It felt like a chaotic Japanese public orgy where everything was blurred out or covered in KY (minus the […]

The Shit Cole Olson’s Been Listening To (Post-Hardcore Bonanza)

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The Shit Cole Olson’s Been Listening To (Post-Hardcore Bonanza)

Due to my lack of participation/free time/sanity because of schooling, I haven’t had much time to dedicate myself to albums that bands have submitted and hash out thoughts and coherent sentences that could properly convey what I need to say. Instead, due to the impending finality of this semester, and a bit of booze, I’m […]

Capsize – The Angst In My Veins

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Capsize – The Angst In My Veins

LET’S OPEN UP THIS FOOKIN’ PIT N READ BOUT’ SUM’ MELODICK HOORDCORE.  Shit is angsty, shit is great, shit is Capsize. Capsize is a band from the best place on Earth, San Diego, California. They’re signed to Equal Vision Records which has bands such as A Lot Like Birds, I The Mighty, We Came As […]

Hammerhands – Glaciers

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Hammerhands – Glaciers

Awhile ago during one of our Quick n’ Dirty reviews, we gave a nasty review of a band called Hammer Fist and now this is a review of a band called Hammerhands, so the real question and the point of this review is what is tougher – a fist of hammer or hands of hammers?  Continue […]

We All Die (Laughing) – Thoughtscanning

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We All Die (Laughing) – Thoughtscanning

In the past, we gentlemen at Deaf Sparrow have complained about bands trying to be too progressive and adding all these batshit ideas into their music creating a heaping midget orgy of poorly constructed songs, strange fetishes, and no singular idea of who is fucking who and whatnot. If you’ve ever watched Human Centipede or […]

Deaf Sparrow’s Top Metal Vocalists You Never Heard Of

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Deaf Sparrow’s Top Metal Vocalists You Never Heard Of

We know you all love them, we know you all need them, articles about something other than single albums.  Well here you are, a team effort, even.  There are certainly hundreds of vocalists we could have chosen from, but of course we had to whittle down to a pathetic, seeping stump so all of you […]

Windbruch – No Stars, Only Full Dark

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Windbruch – No Stars, Only Full Dark

There has been a lot of bullshit coming out of Russia lately – Russian military missiles, caviar, Putin’s pubes, Putin’s dumb fucking face, Putin’s sad, wimpy dick, Putin’s pungent asshole, etc,.. Fortunately for everyone not in Russia, there is good news; Russia can produce good music from time to time and Windbruch’s No Stars, Only Full […]

Black Crown Initiate – Song of the Crippled Bull

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Black Crown Initiate – Song of the Crippled Bull

This review is going to end up being a huge pitch to sell/follow a band that really deserves a lot more respect and Facebook “Likes” than what they currently have.  Black Crown Initiate from Reading, Pennsylvania have been a touring monstrosity, playing with titans like Fleshgod Apocalypse, Behemoth, 1349, and a personal favorite, SepticFlesh. Already they’re touring on the […]

Epitimia – (Un)reality

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Epitimia – (Un)reality

Double CD’s are a hard thing to tackle not only because the length is twice as long but because the artist often has a much broader, more complete vision of their project.  Like many Hypnotic Dirge artists before them, Epitima have attempted to experiment with black metal with many other non-metal genres such as trip […]

Ekove Efrits: Nowhere

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Ekove Efrits: Nowhere

Hypnotic Dirge Records from Canada likes to sign artists from all over the globe including Russia, France, Italy, Ukraine, and Germany.  Ekove Efrits is an Iranian band helmed by the Count De Efrit, the ominous mastermind who has experimented with depressive black metal, Gothic metal, and trip hop, creating an eclectic selection of work. With […]

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