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Lychgate – The Contagion in Nine Steps (Scholarly Metal)

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Lychgate – The Contagion in Nine Steps (Scholarly Metal)

  Nice, that cover by the totally unknown Michael Guy is the perfect lead-in because I’ve been waiting to use the word ‘scholarly’ in reference to metal so I can feel like I’m above everyone else. Actually I already have presented myself as such, but this makes it official, and I should get an honorary […]

Our Place of Worship is Silence – With Inexorable Suffering (Already Out of Space)

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Our Place of Worship is Silence – With Inexorable Suffering (Already Out of Space)

  You know when the band’s name and album title have taken up nearly your entire post title and take more than a minute to write it’s not going to be good. It just reeks of that sticky, foul kind of pretentiousness that ruins far too many bands. Note to those who dare tread this path, if […]

Schrat – Alptraumgänger (Wow 100% German Black Metal)

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Schrat – Alptraumgänger (Wow 100% German Black Metal)

  Man, great art, yeah, love Misanthropic Art. And this is one of the more clever RPG terms-turned-band-name I’ve seen. WTF you talking about, asks the band. The closest translation in English we have of Schrat is “bugbear,” you know, that thing from Dungeons & Dragons? Yeah, I get it, it’s old folklore and such, but […]

Reverorum ib Malacht – Im Ra Distare (STFU Title’s Too Long)

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Reverorum ib Malacht – Im Ra Distare (STFU Title’s Too Long)

  I’m, so sick of the hype surrounding this album and I’m going to be as brief as possible, but trust me, it’s goddamn hard not to go off. Practically the only reason I’m reviewing it is because people just can’t STFU about it. I don’t even really like the cover. Oh, wow, some anti-Christian […]

Ghastly – Death Velour (Finnish Death Metal Tho)

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Ghastly – Death Velour (Finnish Death Metal Tho)

Man that Finnish death metal sound. How I forgot! How I could go on about it forever, though this is only the second band in memory I liked from Finland. Out of any country plugging the death metal hole till bursting, Sweden is the one that consistently gets the attention. Not because it’s all so good, […]

Abhor – Occulta religiO (1920s Organ-Grinder Metal)

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Abhor – Occulta religiO (1920s Organ-Grinder Metal)

  I love this cover, just love it. But my love stops there. because I had heard of Abhor before, and I wasn’t excited then, still not very excited now. In the past they were the usual “true Norwegian” type of black metal, only not from Norway. But they’ve been around since 1995, an impressive […]

VAHRZAW – Husk (Like Warsaw But Less Metal)

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VAHRZAW – Husk (Like Warsaw But Less Metal)

Good one guys, going with the spelling variant on a Slavic city, in this case Warsaw, or at least I assumed that was the idea (I was wrong). And since just everyone is talking about it, let’s consider for a second that scray [sic] art by the oh-so-great Luciana Nedelea, whose work you’ve probably encountered quite a […]

Slugdge – Esoteric Malacology (Don’t Trick Me Please)

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Slugdge – Esoteric Malacology (Don’t Trick Me Please)

I’ve got a great idea for a horror film title, get this: When Things Get Pretentious. It’s only going to scare true underground junkies (autocrats if you forgot the term), but it will be absolutely terrifying. You are about to witness, a film, about how the best and most cutting-edge of sounds can become, horribly pompous. That can […]

Grave Upheaval (Can’t Translate the Title Metal)

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Grave Upheaval (Can’t Translate the Title Metal)

It’s hard to not like a band with a name like Grave Upheaval. Plenty of bands have used the word “grave,” but this one is far more powerful. Cemetery references are pretty stock now, but an upheaval, damn. This isn’t like defacing a single grave, it isn’t like committing sacrilege over a grave, this is an upheaval, like […]

LOWERED – S/T (Surprise Gimme A Smile Metal)

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LOWERED – S/T (Surprise Gimme A Smile Metal)

I love surprises. Not like “oh it’s my birthday today I forgot,” I mean things that come out of nowhere and just make you smile goddamn it. Since I rarely receive hardcopy submissions anymore my surprises come in the form of email promos with great art and music that just makes you smile goddamn it. You wouldn’t […]