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Christian metal that does not preach to thee \ Nightmare Records \ Teramaze
Teramaze: Esoteric Symbolism
When a band or record label says an album sounds like Tool, Metallica, Soilwork, and Devin Townsend, you can’t help but be skeptical and want to at least see if it matches up to such high expectations. This album…. does meet some of that hype – no doubt about that – but some of these […]
absolute devastation \ Aesthetic Death \ black metal \ holy shit are you serious \ noise metal \ sludge \ Wreck of the Hesperus \ you shall not survive
Wreck of the Hesperus: Light Rotting Out
Anyone who doesn’t enjoy this album and pretends to understand depressing funeral doom is full of crap. So full of crap. We’re talking like your DNA is literally crap if you say such a thing. Your parents were no better than the C.H.U.D. that spews the bile-ridden sewage that led to there actually being a […]
all of that \ doom \ help me I'm dying \ Hypnotic Dirge Records \ Odradek Room \ prog \ so dark \ so depressing \ Ukraine
Odradek Room: Bardo. Relative reality
No no no, we didn’t improperly write the title, that’s how it appears verbatim on the album cover, so give us a break. We don’t correct grammar and syntax errors of bands if they’re being “artistic” for us. Especially if they assist us with their knowledge, explaining the meaning of the Tibetan word ‘bardo’ on which […]
DOTA2 \ elite rage quit \ nuub \ pwnt \ sc00ling \ suck a deeck
Dota 2: Thoughts 400 Hours In
It definitely needs to be said first that I, Cole Olson, have only played this game for 400 hours. That is it – 400 hours with probably around 50 alone dicking around with bots but do you know why I spent 100 hours dicking around with bots? Because I’ve heard such atrocious things about the […]
good Gothic metal \ Hypnotic Dirge Records \ Lycanthia \ not joking \ really brah \ seriously
Lycanthia: Oligarchy
Sometimes we kind of have this “thing” for Gothic metal, especially of the black variety, or perhaps with a touch of “the doom” for extra thickness. When properly combined these things create a tragic beast. It’s the kind of thing denied by God as something which may exist, the kind of thing that gets you […]
agonia records \ black metal \ Den Saakaldte \ oatmeal supergroup sans sugar
Den Saakaldte: Faen i Helvete
Do you guys like oatmeal? Because this review is oatmeal based. Oatmeal is great because of all the varieties of food that it can be mixed with such as berries, peanut butter, yogurt, jelly, cinnamon, protein powders, etc,.. Black metal is oatmeal and this bowl has been prepared by Den Saakaldte with their album, Faen […]
Assets Records \ core it all to core Hell \ core that \ core this \ hodge podge stew of whatever \ Lions of Tsavo \ progressive death metal
Lions of Tsavo: Traverser
When using the Google machine to research these lads, the Wikipedia page for the actual lions of Tsavo appears. The story is rather brutal and suits the music well. Back in the day when they were building a railroad over the Tsavo River in Kenya, the British led by Lt. Col. John Henry Patterson, two […]
gore grind \ Parricide \ same old grandfathery old man grind something with guts and stuff \ Squash Bowels
Squash Bowels/Parricide: Old Grindfathers and Their Grind
Ahhh, grind, probably the one genre in metal that refuses to go anywhere, it’s completely content. You see the same thing with older veins of hardcore. If you appreciate it for what it is, then hey, why not? Otherwise ‘not’ is your only option. Squash Bowels is a goregrind band from out of Poland, which […]
damn girls \ Existence Establishment \ experimental \ noise \ stuff in a mausoleum \ Verdant
Verdant: Sincerity
God the artwork on this thing… Now and then you come across an album where the artwork, or in this case photography, basically does justice to the actual sound therein. Every song on this feels like what you see, it even sounds like it in its best moments, like the inside of some old mausoleum […]
black metal \ Dark Descent Records \ depressing \ here comes the gun mommy stay my hand \ Thantifaxath
Thantifaxath: Sacred White Noise
*Insert catchy, hook here to draw in all the interested readers and make this paragraph easier to begin” Thantifaxath are a trio straight outta’ Toronto, Canada who wear long hooded robes on stage to remain anonymous. So far, they have only released an E.P. and this album, Sacred White Noise, will be released April 15th […]
