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Luzifer – Iron Shackles (German Birthright Heavy Metal)

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Luzifer – Iron Shackles (German Birthright Heavy Metal)

  Nice. I say this not necessarily because this particular release is the greatest thing ever, but it’s definitely the greatest promo of this week. Man, yet again, I got slammed by some of the most banal submissions ever. Horrid cover art, or music so derivative and stale I thought it was old emails from […]

Lucifer’s Hammer – The Trip (WTF Do You Want? Dark Fantasy Metal)

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Lucifer’s Hammer – The Trip (WTF Do You Want? Dark Fantasy Metal)

  This is such a pleasant release. I’m not sure how else to begin except by saying WTF do you want? Take a band from Chile, which named themselves after a Larry Niven book (and were not the first to do it), toss in fantasy, sci-fi generalities, and old school heavy metal, and you get […]

Töxik Death – Sepulchral Demons (Umlaut is Okay Sometimes Thrash)

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Töxik Death – Sepulchral Demons (Umlaut is Okay Sometimes Thrash)

  I’m waiting for the day I tire of blackened thrash and I’m like yeah okay heard this, heard that, yeah okay, I’m done. But we’re not there yet. The more bands toss little experiments in there, the less likely it’s going to be soon. In this case even a goddamned umlaut wasn’t enough to […]

Lord Vigo – Danse De Noir (Grandiose VHS Doom Metal with Robots)

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Lord Vigo – Danse De Noir (Grandiose VHS Doom Metal with Robots)

  Here’s something I’ve said a lot: “God I hated this at first.” Definitely said that here. I see “epic” used with anything, especially doom metal, which already has its own problems with pretension, and I just turn my head away. How dare you guys add epic to that? Are you crazy?! These guys are […]

Black Viper – Hellions of Fire (Woah You Guys Do Power and/or Speed Metal?)

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Black Viper – Hellions of Fire (Woah You Guys Do Power and/or Speed Metal?)

  Sheah, we do power metal and/or speed metal on occasion. Got a problem with the gap in reviews? Huh? Deal with it (sunglasses drop), because most of it sucks hard. Too old school and/or not enough modern bite. Unlike thrash, which the majority of us can give a pass to regardless of how old […]