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Stories written by Stanley Stepanic
DEATH CULT RITUAL – NIGHT OF THE FLESH-EATING FREAKS (Full CAPS Noise Horror)

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DEATH CULT RITUAL – NIGHT OF THE FLESH-EATING FREAKS (Full CAPS Noise Horror)

  Noise has for at least two decades been a case of you’ve heard one you’ve pretty much heard them all. The genre is constantly resistant to change and stagnancy reigns, mainly because it’s so damn easy to stomp a bunch of pedals and feign “scary” while tossing fake blood around and screaming into a […]

Collision – The Final Kill (Tears of Joy and Sadness Crossover Epilogue)

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Collision – The Final Kill (Tears of Joy and Sadness Crossover Epilogue)

  Nothing these guys do is wrong, there I said it. Even their earlier work, when they more heavily leaned grindcore, is tolerable. But none of that “their early stuff is better” nonsense because they just kept getting better. Not only do they have the guts to wear their own shirts, they realized that grindcore […]

Bezwering – Aan de wormen overgeleverd (UNDEATH METAL)

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Bezwering – Aan de wormen overgeleverd (UNDEATH METAL)

  Bands really need to declare themselves “post” dash whatever when it’s fucking weird. When I hear “black metal,” for example, I expect horse-stomping drums, lo-fi tremolo blizzard storms with maybe riffs in there, and bass that’s rumbling behind all of it as the Popeye screech vocals commence. Lol where’s me spinach? So why bother […]

Ols – Widma (Dark Pagan Folk With Yarn Skull)

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Ols – Widma (Dark Pagan Folk With Yarn Skull)

  I was hesitant to review this at first, primarily because Poland’s Ols has an ass ton of fans already and is quite prominent in the dark folk underground. However, I decided it was necessary on two counts. One, I rarely get stuff like this, and two, everything else I was considering for review sucked […]

Nosis (Existential Pinocchio Nose Murder by Vincenz Neuhaus)

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Nosis (Existential Pinocchio Nose Murder by Vincenz Neuhaus)

  We need more existential nose fiction in the world. Ever since the great one, Nikolai Gogol, conceived of a living nose tale the world has forever attempted to come out of his nostrils and do better. I am happy to say that quest has finally been completed by +5 to charisma animation paladin Vincenz […]

Oblivion Gate – Wisdom of the Grave (Yay I’m Depressed Now Funeral Doom)

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Oblivion Gate – Wisdom of the Grave (Yay I’m Depressed Now Funeral Doom)

  How long’s it been since I covered doom of the funeral variety? A quick search reveals it was either two months or two years. Anyway, here’s some more, though Finland’s Oblivion Gate is yet another band I’ve covered this past month that defies a clear definition. “Doom” does not really suffice, nor does “funeral.” […]

Lord Vigo – Danse De Noir (Grandiose VHS Doom Metal with Robots)

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Lord Vigo – Danse De Noir (Grandiose VHS Doom Metal with Robots)

  Here’s something I’ve said a lot: “God I hated this at first.” Definitely said that here. I see “epic” used with anything, especially doom metal, which already has its own problems with pretension, and I just turn my head away. How dare you guys add epic to that? Are you crazy?! These guys are […]

Lebenssucht – -273​,​15°C (Now I’m Legit Suicidal Black Metal)

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Lebenssucht – -273​,​15°C (Now I’m Legit Suicidal Black Metal)

  Man the pain just bleeds off of the self-inflicted cuts of this one, phew. Proper direction, vertically, along the length of the veins, goddamn… I’m seriously suicidal now, for show at least. Depressive Suicidal Black Metal (DSBM) doesn’t get the hype it needs sometimes. Maybe it’s too legitimately scary to some, I don’t know, […]

Perdition Temple – Sacraments of Descension (That Florida Thing)

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Perdition Temple – Sacraments of Descension (That Florida Thing)

  So how exactly did that Florida death metal thing start? Like how is it a certain place in the world just becomes associated with something like that? Seriously I want to know, and I don’t want name-dropping to explain it, either. “Well, acktvally…Nocturnus, you know, uh…and then Killing Addiction, uh…” STHU, I know who […]

Sign of Evil – Psychodelic Horror (Blackened Goth Punk, I Think)

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Sign of Evil – Psychodelic Horror (Blackened Goth Punk, I Think)

  Phew almost missed this one I say. It just so happened that the limited 7″ promo came in el email and I was like wut how I have no hear? Whatever, here it is anyway, whatever it is, I really don’t know to be honest. So Chile is no stranger to some of the […]