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Stories written by Stanley Stepanic
Defense: Abominations (First-Person Survival Turret Chaos)

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Defense: Abominations (First-Person Survival Turret Chaos)

  You know, when I first caught some pics of Defense: Abominations I expected an entry-level first-person shooter (FPS) effort from some Eastern European cyberflunk who can barely hack his own email. What I found was more of a mid-grade network spy who can almost hack this site’s email but gives up because he’s in the middle of programming […]

WITCH KING – Voice Of The Ossuary (Another Satan Metal Band)

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WITCH KING – Voice Of The Ossuary (Another Satan Metal Band)

  Sometimes the stupid titles I come up with sound more condescending than they actually are. They’re more congenial, at times, like this time. I mean, come on, can’t we at least question the Satan thing in metal once in awhile? Just once I’d like to see someone or some band do something a little more […]

Malsanctum – S/T (Two Minutes to Funeral Doom’s Funeral)

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Malsanctum – S/T (Two Minutes to Funeral Doom’s Funeral)

  Well, here it is, likely the first time something from Iron Bonehead Productions actually depresses me in the other way. I prefer the “why does the human race exist?” type of depression, but this is more of a “why was this album released?” sadness. Now, please pause, for I have already started this on an […]

Mandy (2018) (Big Chainsaw Duels Are Cool)

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Mandy (2018) (Big Chainsaw Duels Are Cool)

  Panos Cosmatos is a name that should definitely be known to fans of more off-the-wall cinema. Boosting up an undeniably old-school touch with modern cinematography and sound techniques, the young Canadian director should have been on indie film fans’ radar already his dazzling Beyond the Black Rainbow (2010). In 2018, he’s back again with […]

Kobold – Death Parade (When Will Vintage Thrash Die? Parade)

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Kobold – Death Parade (When Will Vintage Thrash Die? Parade)

  Welcome Serbia’s Kobold and their Death Parade, 15 tracks of ass-blistering, face-melting, dick-scalding, heart-burning, finger-gnashing, teeth-crushing, curb-stomped, methhead speed metal. The things I like about Kolbold’s take on the old is that it doesn’t stray from the path of what has come before.  The cover by Željko Manojlović is very 80’s with those Big Brother, […]

Maligner – Attraction to Annihilation (Everything Should Be Burned)

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Maligner – Attraction to Annihilation (Everything Should Be Burned)

  Lol this is such a goddamn fitting album to review today, it really is. If you’re not aware, this site is so apolitical you’ll swear off any potential party affiliation or political worldview immediately. Keep that crap out of here, unless it’s to start flame wars in the comments so the site gets more hits. […]

Witch Hunt (First-Person Flintlock Horror Pursuit)

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Witch Hunt (First-Person Flintlock Horror Pursuit)

  Boy I struggled to figure out some sort of synonym for ‘hunt’ to title this, and ‘pursuit’ is all I had for today, but it’s rather fitting for Witch Hunt. I wish I was a bit smarter while writing this, but I’ve had a long month of job interviews, conferences, and things other than playing […]

Crawl – Rituals (Sweden Does It Again, Basically)

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Crawl – Rituals (Sweden Does It Again, Basically)

  I feel like I’ve been getting a lot of Swedish metal the past few months. Actually, it’s probably more than I’ve noticed it since it’s been pretty damn good in general. I really need to stop with the italics joke, so let’s see if I can make it through the rest of this. Really I don’t need […]

Gnaw Their Tongues & Crowhurst – Burning Ad Infinitum (Title Ad Infinitum)

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Gnaw Their Tongues & Crowhurst – Burning Ad Infinitum (Title Ad Infinitum)

  When I first heard Gnaw Their Tongues I had no idea what to appreciate or what the fuck I was listening to. My feeble mind wasn’t ready to abandon the glittery world of shred guitar solos, crushing breakdowns, and pig squeals. But Gnaw Their Tongues always stuck with me and I know it was […]

Graveyard Keeper (Cemetery Sim That Puts You Into An Early Grave)

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Graveyard Keeper (Cemetery Sim That Puts You Into An Early Grave)

  See how clever this site is with colloquialisms? I took that “early grave” idiom and applied it to this game right here about cemeteries! So clever! More clever than Graveyard Keeper, in fact, as much as that fact pulls the bones from my body and places them in the wrong tomb. That’s right, I’m not going […]