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Stories written by Stanley Stepanic
Frank Herbert’s Dune Sucks: Part I – Dune

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Frank Herbert’s Dune Sucks: Part I – Dune

Well, as you can assume, I, Arkus have been taking my time reading something. This mysterious something with irritating italics in places that don’t make sense all of the time, is all of the original Dune novels written by Frank Herbert, throwing in the parody called Doon for my final analysis.  This was actually published about two years ago, but in creating the new […]

DEATHSTENCH/Trepaneringsritualen: Split LP

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DEATHSTENCH/Trepaneringsritualen: Split LP

In the world of darkness, there are a few labels that reign supreme that we see around here frequently.  One of those, Malignant Records, has sent us recently several cool pieces, including our first vinyl promo for the new hardcopy address.  And here it is.  First off, nothing beats a picture disc with cool artwork, […]

Death Valley Driver: Graveyard Dead

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Death Valley Driver: Graveyard Dead

When we first encountered these guys a year or so ago, the disc was too old to review and well, we didn’t like it much anyway.  The cover was a huge WTF with some sort of skeletal Mexican wrestler holding a mic that looked more like a computer mouse and some ghost chick under his […]

Greenhorn – The Plague Doctor’s Mask EP

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Greenhorn – The Plague Doctor’s Mask EP

Nothing beats receiving a self-released hack-job that actually ends up being…awesome.  “What is this?” you wonder, as you stare at what looks like a…like a…yes that is the skull of a triceratops.  Wait a minute, guys, this isn’t even a plague doctor’s mask!  Okay, for once, let’s not put this aside, we said, let’s take […]

The Return of Pungent Stench (or something like it)

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The Return of Pungent Stench (or something like it)

You know what’s great about the internet?  We’ll tell you what’s great, you can connect with almost anyone you could think of if you know where to look.  It’s amazing, some of us around here grew up with these guys, Pungent Stench, and at least one of us has memories of listening to Been Caught Buttering while […]

Regarde les Hommes Tomber: S/T

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Regarde les Hommes Tomber: S/T

Here we go again, time to get redundant up in this.  French hardcore, especially of the post variety, dominates.  It’s one of the most atmospheric, creative, and musically confrontational hotbeds in the modern scene.  We were first enlightened on this subject several years ago, and since then have been continually enlightened, endlessly enlightened.  We’re so […]

Coil/Nine Inch Nails: Recoiled

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Coil/Nine Inch Nails: Recoiled

We’ve previously called the guy running Cold Spring a God.  Now we will refer to him as the thing which created God.  Over the years, whenever we first started to receive submissions as we branched out into ambient, noise, and the like, everything we received from him was a gem.  It seems he has an […]

Australasia: Vertebra

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Australasia: Vertebra

As we found before with Australasia, the artwork doesn’t tell you so much about what to expect.  It’s like a blank cover to a two-thousand-page epic masterpiece of literature.  When we first came across this guy in his release Sin4tr4, there was a nice horsie on the cover, so we sadly ignored listening to it for […]

The Teeth: Homewrecker

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The Teeth: Homewrecker

One of the best things to do as a music critic is take a release and stick it in without doing any research.  Research should come after.  Why?  Because this gets all of the stereotyping out of your system, so when you prove yourself wrong you end up with a much more honest review.  It’s […]

Fist Fight in the Parking Lot: Year of the Ox

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Fist Fight in the Parking Lot: Year of the Ox

We first came across Fist Fight in the Parking Lot via their self-released EP about a year or so ago.  Verdict?  Awesome, but unfortunately we can’t show you the proof because we’re programming the archives so they work properly due to the fact they’re in an older version of PHP no longer supported.  Take our […]